i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
