i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
