Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
