She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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