Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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