So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize