I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
