New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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