We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
