She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
