What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
