WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
