How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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