hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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