Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
