we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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