why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
