So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
