i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
