i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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