weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Randomize
