She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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