and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
