I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
