I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm like, not good at living.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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