somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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