OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
