Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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