according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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