It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
