when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
