just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
