It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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