I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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