she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
