i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
