i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
