I don't think brook has ever known best
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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