afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
