Its about making memories worth repressing
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
