i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Oh god it's open bar.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
