Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize