That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
