Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
