We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
