dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Randomize
