My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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