god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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