I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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