i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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