Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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