you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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