Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
