Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hippo gnu deer
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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