I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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