Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
