we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
