The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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