He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
