i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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