I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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