I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I supernannyed him into submission
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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