This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
